Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Why I Play Lottery Tickets


Chances are a million to one against it.

Odds are not in your favor.

Chances are slim to none.

We all know the “fat chance” speak that accompanies those seemingly hopeless situations, but I am not so cynical when it comes to overwhelming odds.

To the extent I understand the genetics behind my first son Rainer’s death, I still marvel at the odds that tumbled into place when in this whole wide world I would fall in love with and marry a woman with a similar gene tick as mine; a glitch we both apparently have that when combined results in a mitochondrial disorder so rare and fatal that only 25 similar cases in the world had ever been recorded. Some odds, eh? Or, here are other odds. Our doomed genes, again when put together, threaten a 1 in 4 chance of any child we have will be born ill.

I get sick with anxiety when I have to fly on planes. I don’t accept statistics about them being safer than cars. When someone begins, “You are more likely to die in a car crash …” I tune out. What is more likely to happen does not impress or comfort me. I figure it must be happening all the time to someone somewhere. Some life is going to be the 1 in those million to 1 scenarios. So when I hear statistics about people being more likely to die by dog attack or bee bite than shark attack ... or the odds of getting struck by lightning ... those mind-numbing figures, so coldly abstract, like a million to one, do nothing to assuage my fear.

I believe in outrageous odds.
I believe in longshots.
I believe in the impossible.

If I have a buck in my pocket, I buy an instant ticket despite the odds of winning.

3 comments:

Brent Goodman said...

Stunning post, friend.

Anonymous said...

Ours was a one-in-one-thousand case. Still, couple friends we know who are getting pregnant have to contend with the difference between the global statistic and the one they know: that one couple out of the handful or dozen they know that got pregnant actually had happen what happened to us.

In the absence of some spiritual context, it can be profoundly difficult to relate to such data. In our case, I know in my heart of hearts that what happened was part of our destiny. I am a better person despite so much pain - more fragile at times, true, and certainly more than I would have wanted to be - but better. My sincere hope is that you can, in your own way, come to terms with your loss such that it informs your compassion for others, your poetry, your life - in a way that is so much greater than any statistic could quantify.

My heart goes out to you. And good luck with that ticket.

Sonny said...

I understand your disposition but still one in a million is one in a million. My grandfather died at the ripe old age of 93. Everyday since the lotto started back in the 60's he bought a ticket and a six pack of beer. This was his ritual every single day. HE NEVER WON THE POT OR EVEN SPLIT IT. The most he ever won was a couple hundred dollars. The real winner is the government... everytime. Now your illness, Life is a funny thing and at every turn we are forced to "learn lessons" and our understanding will then affect others. You story has affect me, now whats the change that I sitting at my computer on a Sunday morning waiting on my wife to get ready for church decide to check a stupid lotto ticket which I never buy nor would I ever check on the computer .... check it anyway... only to lose and then decide to google my odds and wow your site out of K-billions comes up I read it and then reply... WOW those are some odds or is it reality / chance in counter that I would affect others as you have affect me.... We are all winners in life no matter what... Only the government is the winner in the lotto no matter what...

Sonny

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