Father's morning, day, night.
My wife and son served me breakfast in bed this morning. Scrambled eggs, link sausages w/lemon wedges, jelly toast and coffee. Once I plopped out of bed, I read sonnets on the porch for a while, then wrestled with my son in the attic which is too hot to be in, played hall soccer (our name for kicking this inflatable back and forth in a narrow stretch of hallway) and then went to see Spiderman - 3 again. My wife has a pan of Blueberry Boy Bait cooling on the stove that we will all much on later this evening. I am happy all over, top to bottom.
Here is a shortened list of imaginary Titles of Rejected Children’s Books...from an anonymous source off the Internet. I culled the list down to my favorites. I think these made the rounds some time ago, but they might be new for some of you.
You are Different and That’s Bad
The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables
Fun four-letter Words to know and Share
Hammers, Screwdrivers and Scissors: An “I-Can-Do-It Book:
Kathy Was So Bad Her Mommy Stopped Loving Her
Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence
Some Kittens Can Fly
Grandpa Gets a Casket
Whining, Kicking and Crying to Get your Way
Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will
The Man in the Moon is Actually Satan
Your Nightmares Are Real
Where Would You Like to be Buried?
Why Can’t Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?
Places Where Mommy and Daddy Hide Neat Things
Daddy Drinks Because You Cry
The Surprise at the Bottom of the Pool
If It Feels Good, Touch It!
You Can’t Help It If You’re Stupid
Patty Went Splat! (Don’t YOU Forget Your Seatbelt)
Bullies Deserve To Die
Mommy’s Got A New Baby To Love
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