Jaan Kaplinski: Two Takes

I recently picked up a new release, Evening Brings, which pulls together three of Jaan Kaplinkski’s early works. Reading through I found this translation that echoed a poem I remembered from The Wandering Border (from the late 80’s).

A)

There are so many insects this summer.
As soon as you go into the garden
a buzzing swarm of flies besieges you.
The bumblebees are nesting in the boxes you made for birds,
the wasps have made their nests in hazel bushes.
And sitting at your desk in the attic room
you constantly hear a buzzing, and don’t know
whether it’s the sound of bumblebees, wasps,
electric wires,
a plane in the skies, a car on the road,
or the voice of life itself wanting to tell you something
from the inside, from your inner self.

from Evening Brings Everything Back
trans. by the author and Fiona Sampson


B)

This summer is full of insects.
As soon as you go to the garden,
a cloud of flies buzzes around your head.
Bumblebees nest in the birdhouses,
wasps nest in the hazel,
and as I sit at the window
I hear a buzz I cannot name,
whether the voice of bumblebees, wasps,
or electric lines,
a plane in the sky, a car on the road,
or the voice of life itself that wants
to tell you something from the inside out.

from The Wandering Border
trans. by the author with Sam Hamill and Riina Tamm


Of the two, I prefer Hamill and Tamm’s translation.

Why say “nesting boxes you made for birds” instead of birdhouses? From the inside, from your inner self is the “get it” elbow in the ribs I didn’t need. And I prefer the “I” in Hamill’s take to the “you” in Sampson’s. More notable choices: swarm vs. cloud; besiege vs. buzzes.