Whit Does Carlin

Driving back from school with my son Whit, he says to me "How come we park in driveways and drive on parkways?" Not bad, eh? I told him it is odd they tell you to get on the plane in airports, instead of in the plane. (Props to GC for that one.)

"I'll have a glass of glass please"

Last night I was out with my wife Mae for Valentine's Day and we stopped by a mexican food joint on our way to see Benjamin Button. It was at the mexican food joint that I had a margarita or a glass of glass. Not sure yet. But near the end of the drink I happened to find a glass chip the size of sunflower seed in my drink. At first I thought it must be ice but it had such a pointy shape. I sucked on it and it did not melt. It was glass. For our trouble they took both drinks off the bill. Whew. That's good. As long as there wasn't a chip or two I drank without knowing. We'll see.

From Krusty Krab to KFC

Plankton suspected in KFC recipe scare.

Nuts on the Tree

Wow, 38 to 40 today. Snow's melting. I decided to take Whitman (my son) into the Cuyahoga Falls Sand Run area and do some mountain/hill climbing. Always more fun in the snow.

Image this picture but with a lot more snow on the ground. So here is how it went. We climbed the first hill, then breathless and beat we sat and muched M&M's and surveyed the territories yonder below us. We even saw a few deer. Whit slid down the backside mostly on his rump and thought it was great fun. I walked down.

The second hill, extremely vertical near the top, was much harder to conquer. But we chugged up and made it finally. Coming down, Whit wanted me to go first a blaze the trail for him to slide down, which I did--on my ass. I slipped after two steps and in my slick snow pants zoomed right down the hill straight toward a sapling. Thinking fast I put my feet together to brace for the collison and oddly my legs split open when my feet hit and I racked my boys on the tree just like in the funniest videos show. That would be me, in the blue.

We had a great time.

Lux Interior

Ugh! The lead singer of The Cramps died. What will all of us Goo Goo Mucks do?









Bad Music for Bad People is on my 80's Hall of Fame list.

At No Time Did My Hand Leave My Arm

Abra Cadaver. Hocus focus. This is some fancy writing here. The man jumped and at no time did he leave his feet:

"It got just over Brown’s fingers, then got to Holmes’. He snared it out of the air by extending his hands and making a leap so small he wasn’t sure he ever left his feet. He had, and as he dragged the ball in he tapped both feet down in the red paint of the end zone before getting shoved out of bounds by safety Aaron Francisco."

Bad Art Animals

Have you been to the Museum of Bad Art lately? There is something about that dog that reminds me of Joey from Friends.

Ah, Mug-O-Chum

During these cold wintry days, I know a lot of you like to curl up, Rockwellian style, with a hot coccoa in front of the fire. Yummy. But, did you know that during these chilly days sharks also like to snuggle up with a bucket of warm chum? Why if you look close you can even see the marshmallows in the back. Good times, good times ...

Entrepreneurial Spirit

The wheels are turning today. I am taking a class at the University of Akron called Idea Having and the sparks are starting to fly. Check it out.

I have a back hair concept. Had an indoor pool party for Whit's birthday recently and there was this man there with more back hair than Robin Williams. And I got to thinking about Back Hair Mullets -- like a back mowhawk -- and wondering if I couldn't start a craze and then create a line of grooming products to support said craze. Wheels are turning. Big time. Note the density around/along the spine? Nature's so wise.

These are my endeavors.







P.S.
Last night I watched Teeth, the movie about the girl with vagina dentata -- lots of blood. Chunks of wang on carpet. I am also endeavoring to purge the movie from my mind.

P.P.S. I still get dreamy, and a little breathless, wondering what it would have meant for Ann Wilson to go Crazy on Me. I am endeavoring to figure this out as well.

Birthday Goodies

My birthday went pretty well, though I did have to work (had a little freelance disaster) all day into the night.

But I got breakfast in bed, a 'best dad' declaration from Whit--hand drawn, Stranger than Fiction DVD from my wife Ahleah, and Chicken Parmesan for dinner--made according to Cook's Illustrated (also from Ahleah). Yummy.

Here's to 46

Today's my 46th birthday.

I Found Frost in My Bathroom

this morning. Not this Frost, but the cold kind. A patch of frost on the wall by the window and I scratched a line through with my fingernail. It is that cold. -11 at the moment. On that note it seems appropriate to announce that I will turn 46 in a few days. Old. Cold. Blah.