My Poor Fool Is Hanged

Good Gets

2010-05-04T04:28:00.000-07:00

Got some great books for a few quarters over the weekend at the local library book sale:

Flannery O'Connor Complete Stories
Stephen Crane's Complete Stories & Sketches
Loren Eisley's Immense Journey
St. John Perse Sea Marks

Those were for me. For my kid I picked up:

Jack London's complete stories
The Chocolate War
All Creatures Great & Small

(Though he is welcome to the O'Connor any time)

2010-04-28T13:31:00.001-07:00

Nummy nummy. I ordered a wok today from Tane. I grabbed this image from their site, and I am pretty sure it is the set she put together for me. We spent about 45 minutes on the phone going over my "situation" and she hooked me up.

Rejections, Suggestions, Riddle Me This

2010-04-28T13:25:00.000-07:00

If you have ever had a poem come back with revision suggestions, "change this change that," "we like it but" ... what did you do? I would really like to hear about it. Did you make the changes?

Rainer's Walk

2010-04-26T05:32:00.000-07:00

Those of you who have been to Poor Fool before know that my first son, Rainer, died back in 1998. This June would be Rainer’s 12th birthday and I been thinking lately of all the good things that come in dozens: doughnuts, roses, eggs, days of Christmas, months in a year, hours on a clock. This year I am adding donations to the United Mitochondrial Disease Foundation to that list.

The Wild for a Cure race at the Cleveland Zoo has been changed this year to a walk, so we're all doing it together, minus Otty and Indy. We are asking people this year to donate $12 and then encourage 12 other people to donate $12, because there are two reasons for the foundation: to raise money and to raise awareness. When I tell people Rainer had Leigh’s Disease, they get a puzzled look and tilt their heads. Saying it’s a mitochondrial disease doesn’t clarify it. Mitochondrial problems are more common than we realize. The UMDF website says that up to 4,000 children are born every year with a mitochondrial disease but they are frequently misdiagnosed with atypical cerebral palsy, seizure disorders or diseases of aging instead of mitochondrial diseases. This means that thousands of children are not getting therapies that actually help. Although Rainer was born sick and lived only six weeks, many kids do not show signs of the disease until they are much older and sometimes not until adulthood. Please visit the website and donate $12 and send this on to 12 people and ask them to do the same. It would be great to raise $1,200 this year, but it’s even more important to spread the word:

Click here.

A dozen thanks,

Keith

Poor Fool Exclusive

2010-04-23T06:00:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine, who used to work at the SEC, sent me this photo exclusive: the offices of two different senior level employees. I thought, "Yeah right. I bet they sit around and surf porn all day too."

B-Movie Shoe Closet

2010-03-08T07:36:00.000-08:00

This month's B-Movie. "

"Lo, and though they all wear them, nothing could prepare the good people of Highland Square for the terror that is THE SHOE CLOSET UNDER THE BED.

(Shakey cam)

My wife Bianca has two shoe closets. One in the study, and one under our bed. In all fairness, in the WAY back you can see my piles of bedside books.

Dog Dreams

2010-03-05T08:24:00.000-08:00

This morning, I came down stairs to find Otty on his back, just waking from his Road Kill dream again. He says he has the dream a lot this time of year, when Spring is approaching and a young dog's thoughts turn to walks. Along streets. Streets with cars on them. Scarrrrrry.

Terrorist Attack, Suicide, Other?

2010-02-19T09:34:00.000-08:00

My wife Penelope and me were talking about why Joe Stack's attack on the IRS was not considered a "terrorist attack". The good people at Common Dreams have an article up I thought worth sharing. I can't help but feel in a way, we're getting into Known Knowns and Unknown knowns and other Rumsfeldian bullshit with this defintions dance.

Donna Mae Woodruff

2010-01-11T10:09:00.000-08:00

My grandmother, Donna Mae Woodruff, died last Thursday. I wanted to put up a post about her. Not just because she was such a big part of my life growing up, but because I sometimes I think it's my love of animals that helped me love at all during certain low points throughout my life and I owe that to her along with a great deal of gratitude.

I had always liked animals, but really came to grasp what a great honor it is to earn an animal’s trust, and how rewarding that can be, because of the time I spent with Grandma and Grandpa. My parents divorced when I was 9. A few years after that my father moved back to California and I began to go to my grandparent’s house (this is in Michigan) on weekends to work in my grandpa’s print shop keeping the floors sweep, presses cleaned and garbage emptied—he ran a small printing business on the side. My mother would drive me in Friday and pick me up Sunday. This is when my relationship with Donna really began. Both of them actually, because up until then I had been living in California where I was born.

One of my favorite Cummings poems begins: “if there are any heavens my mother will (all by herself) have one.” The same is true for Donna Mae. It will be a heaven of pony manes to brush, a spider monkey to dress, and a whole bestiary of animals to name, pet, and love. She sadly remarked to me once, on seeing a dog chained up in a yard, “What is the point of having a dog if you can’t feel it against you.” She knew all about feeling dogs against her. At one point she had a whole pack of mini and toy poodles that followed her every move and settled wherever she settled. They were, Shoo Shoo, Bon Bon, Emily, Cupcake, Poppa Touhy, Mister and JePaul. I may be forgetting one. Poppa Touhy had to wear a diaper because he was excitable. That was quite a sight so was seeing all these little gray and white bodies snuggled in around her on the couch where she sat and spent so much of her time reading.

Here are a few highlights. Clyde, the spider monkey, who she occasionally dressed in cowboy chaps and a little cowboy hat--doll clothes. She let him play around in the trees in the backyard and when it was time for him to come in she would offer him a small Styrofoam cup with a sip of whiskey in it—he really liked it. (This Google image looks like him minus the duds.) Over the years, she had doves, Great Danes, a giant Tom cat named Paisano, flemmish giant rabbits that they would turn loose from time to time so they could lope around the backyard like sweet little broncos, sixteen cats that came and went, all with funny names I can’t remember, and even a raccoon at one point that stayed out doors but was a good friend. (Somewhere there are Super 8 movies of me as a little kid playing with it in her backyard.) Some of these animals I was around for, some I heard about through the stories she and Grandpa would tell. They had two ponies as well, Lady Boo and Benny that I remember very well. I sat on their backs as a baby and patted their muzzles as a teenager when I would come there to work. Of course, one of the odd things about all this animal life is that they lived right in the city in a fairly suburban area—wasn’t always that way though. The neighborhood kind of grew up around them over the years until a pony run seemed to look more and more out of place. (Another Google image, but imagine 4 or 5 of these running and jumping around the backyard.)

Quite a few years after my Grandfather died, never one to be long without a dog of some kind, she took in a Rottweiler named Alex. She must have been in her 70’s at this point and at one point the dog was horsing around and knocked her over. She broke her hip and could not get up and lie there on the floor where she fell overnight until the next day when my Dad came by and happened to find her. I wrote this poem about her shortly after.

Kingdom

A woodchuck claims the quiet country
that he finds beneath your steps. Now,
his digging makes them tilt so much

that you could fall again. Mice gnaw holes
through boxes of what little food you keep,
build nests of your wig hair and grass

in the cellar’s ancient fuse box. Still
you will not set a trap. Your husband’s dead
and most would say you live alone.

But every day more webs darken the corners
of your ceilings. Every night, the play of squirrels
behind the walls. You remind me of that gentle poet Issa,

writing of lice, flies and fleas with affection
even as his wife sat counting bites
on their infant daughter. I recall your warning

from childhood: kill a spider you’ll make it rain.
Donna, there’s nothing you wouldn’t love,
wouldn’t spare. But how will you survive

when everything you see is so precious—
the tiny, the clawed, living their gentle lives
and aiming them right at you.

Comp Books, a Nerd's Confession

2009-12-27T11:02:00.000-08:00

I have to admit, that one my greatest joys is finding notebooks, especially the comp book style, at super low, post-back-to-school prices. Here is the latest batch I got a Office Max for 80c a piece. A while back, I found some good ones at Target for 60 cents a piece. Cool.

Poetry News

2009-12-27T10:46:00.001-08:00

THIS JUST IN ...

I am very upbeat about a recent rejection letter I got. The poem R.W.W. is on the death of my son Rainer back in 1998. There was a note scribbled on the form reject saying the poem was lovely, wish it didn't end with a question though. Not the first time I was told that and since poetry is what, 80% revision? I am working on a new last line and will resubmit it.

Nuts, It's Been Ages

2009-12-11T12:25:00.000-08:00

What's up with the life stuff that keeps me from my beloved Poor Fool?

Here are few quick updates.

SPAM has discovered Poor Fool and at present I have 33 comments from Anonymous, for everything from Viagra offers to War Craft cheats. So if you comment and you are a legitimate Anonymous I probably won't see your message anymore. Alas!

On an off note, I have been beseiged by Peter Sellers-like (Pink Panther) missteps. Feeling all upbeat and cocky because of a good jog, I threw a handful of cashews into my mouth and a bunch of salt(because they were the last nuts in the container) got in my eyes.

As part of my efforts to be more relaxed throughout the day, I stopped working and took a deep sniff of a Vanilla candle and snorted the flame into my nostril. Now there's a smell you don't want to think about. Burnt nose hair. Trapped in your nose no less.

Other than that, freelance work has been crazy steady. I am jogging again. And I even have a few poems out.

"Bad, scary monkey. bad!"

2009-10-26T12:05:00.000-07:00

Working on a freelance project today that could involve stuffed animals, I was sad and a little terrified to come across this one. It is a monkey, so they say. I would go so far as to say it tops the clown from Poltergeist -- furthermore, I am getting this weird Chucky meets flying Oz monkeys vibe.

Brussel Sprouts

2009-10-05T15:59:00.000-07:00

No, it's not a prop from Day of the Triffids, but rather, Brussel Sprouts before they're harvested. I had no idea.

Little Bunnies Foo Foo

2009-09-25T14:27:00.000-07:00

Inside my Black & Decker leaf sucker upper, there is a sizable and very toothy grinding element which makes quick but noisy work of leaves and buckeyes, and almost bunnies.

While doing the yard suck yesterday, I found two of these little fellas hiding in plain sight in the leaves and grass I was cleaning up. I thought they needed a little help getting to better cover so we worked out a deal where they would stay in the thicker ground cover by my porch and both promised to beware the cats in our neighborhood. We talked a bit about "stealth mode" a then I got back to work.

Lights out

2009-09-25T13:43:00.000-07:00

My doctor's office just phoned and my doc' secretary Vicky says I have severe Sleep Apnea and I need to go back in for a, quote: "CPAP Titration Study".

Sad at slow moving paper work! They are sooooooo behind the old 8 ball. The sleep lab already got me in and out for the Titration before my primary even got back to me with results of the first test.

"Continuous Positive Airway Pressure (CPAP) is the main treatment for obstructive sleep apnoea. It is a pump which uses a gentle stream of air to splint open the airway at night. Depending on the case an overnight study may be conducted at the laboratory or in the home to determine the most effective setting for the machine to alleviate symptoms of apnoea." What you see in the picture is pretty much what I was wearing last night -- only I looked cool in it.

My technician dude for the Titration must have known I am a worrier, though, because when I asked him what the first test results showed, mild or moderate, he said, "You know, I don't really like to use terms like that ..." Blah blah blah. It took the courage of my primary's nurse, Vicky, to give it to me straight.

All I Need is the Air that I Breathe

2009-09-24T05:35:00.001-07:00

So I have an update on the blackouts. (see below)

Did a Sleep Study the other night and it showed that I stopped breathing off and on during the short time I did sleep. Spooky. So I go back in tonight to sleep with a PAP something or other on my face. Sounds like it fits over my nose and face like that many-legged thing from Alien. Spooky again.

Andrew Sullivan & Me

2009-09-18T14:59:00.000-07:00

Tonight at the pharmacy I was mistaken for several versions of Andrew Sullivan.

The Faces of Fear, ... & Stupidity, Hate, Racism

2009-09-18T04:21:00.000-07:00

I am depressed enough these days without seeing this Freakshow, but alas it came my way and I want to share it with you. They are actually scared by the word Czar. I guess it sounds spooky and perhaps Muslim. But not as spooky as the Tea Baggers . They don't know who or what a Czar is and what kind of murky plans he has.

Speaking of words, I think they should take a break from the frenzy and look up the more contemporary meaning of Tea Bagger which they've proudly nicknamed themselves. This kind of unfocused, uninformed, and generally confused rage and indignation is painfully reminiscent of the terrifying video clips of Ohio Palin supporter during the election.)

Everyone is so tired of all the spending, and all the freedoms being eroded. You know, all the "stuff" that Obama has done in his short time in office.

God, these sad, noisy maniacs.

I Haven't Got the Stomach for this Heart Stuff

2009-09-14T06:28:00.000-07:00

My stomach is all nerves. As of right now, it looks like I am going to see Richard Josephson (with all sorts of John Hopkins credentials) this Wednesday for the first of what sounds like many tests.

More Blackouts - Could be Terrorists?

2009-09-08T07:43:00.000-07:00

Here is a bunch of gobblygook that talks about what "may" be wrong with me, but I have also read about Pulmonary Hypertension presenting itself with similar symptoms.

(Of course, I like Syncope because it almost sounds like a poetry term: Metonymy, Synecdoche, Syncope.)

Syncope is the temporary loss of consciousness or, in plain English, fainting. The situations that trigger this reaction are diverse and include coughing. Situational syncope is caused by a reflex of the involuntary nervous system called the vasovagal reaction. The vasovagal reaction leads the heart to slow down and, at the same time, it leads the nerves to the blood vessels in the legs to permit those vessels to dilate. The result is that the heart puts out less blood, the blood pressure drops, and the blood that is circulating tends to go into the legs rather than to the head. The brain is then deprived of oxygen, and the fainting episode occurs.

Sounds involved.

Here is an additional link I found with a few helpful tips. Reading this and everything else, it is beginning to feel like I am circling the heart disease drain.

Last time it happened, which would have been just this past Sunday on the porch during dinner, I was told my eyes kind of rolled back and I nodded into the table top. Bad Dinner Theater indeed.

Common Dreams Bookmark

2009-09-06T05:19:00.000-07:00

Depending on which way you lean, I encourage you to share this site with anyone who you think would benefit. Currently at Commondreams.org you will find an important reminder (think Orwell's Polictics and the English Language) about that words matter from Ralph Nader. Or, for more on the myth of healthcare reform and the phony debate going on, this piece from Rolling Stone.

"Then again, some of the blame has to go to all of us. It's more than a little conspicuous that the same electorate that poured its heart out last year for the Hallmark-card story line of the Obama campaign has not been seen much in this health care debate. The handful of legislators - the Weiners, Kuciniches, Wydens and Sanderses - who are fighting for something real should be doing so with armies at their back. Instead, all the noise is being made on the other side. Not so stupid after all - they, at least, understand that politics is a fight that does not end with the wearing of a T-shirt in November."

Pass it on.

Pfizer is Pfined, Pf----ing A!

2009-09-04T06:18:00.001-07:00

This is wonderful! Good news for a change. If I were drinking, tonight I'd drink to John Kopchinski.

"In the Army I was expected to protect people at all costs," Kopchinski said in a statement. "At Pfizer I was expected to increase profits at all costs, even when sales meant endangering lives. "I couldn't do that," added Kopchinski.

Laughter is the Best Medicine, Unless it Kills You

2009-09-03T04:10:00.000-07:00

I am officially worried.

Last night, I shared the Poo Trap video with my son Whit (see below) and when I saw him laughing I started laughing, hard really hard, and then I kind of just went away ....

I came to with my head on the edge of the desk where I was sitting. I had blacked out.

This is the second time this has happened to me now.

Always the same circumstances, laughing so hard I black out.

The first time was also with Whit -- sharing a little bit of humor with someone else, and seeing them laugh just makes it funnier I guess. But what if I am driving and someone makes me laugh.

I just saw the doctor for an upper respiratory infection, now I need turn around and go back about the laughing disease.

PooTrap - As Seen on TV!

2009-09-02T07:32:00.001-07:00

Christ, this is subtle. Here's what I miss by not watching television .... I can't breathe and am laughing so hard. How tasteful the way they blurred out the steamer caught in the bag on the home page image.

I think we will pass and stick to grocery bags ... showed the video to Otty and Indy and they both gave "the weird ass apparatus" thumbs down.

Colossus Dog - B-Movie Victims

2009-09-01T08:22:00.000-07:00

Unspeakable terror. Skin crawling ickiness!
Behold! It started out as fun-filled hike in the Purple Range Mountains with four friends, and turned into a gore-bespattered trip from hell when the Amazing Colossus Dog of Hades fell upon them! There was nowhere to run! But straight down her throat.

Movie slogan, Sometimes, the dog days of summer really bite!

Laundry Basket Blues

2009-09-01T06:21:00.001-07:00

Maybe we never outgrow the pleasure of sitting in laundry baskets, we just outgrow the baskets. Whit, busting blue at age 9.

Shawn McNulty or McNUTly.

2009-08-31T06:39:00.000-07:00

Shawn McNulty signs are everywhere in Southside Akron front lawns which is/was good for his campaign, but is even better for a laugh.

As we drove through the area on our way to the Reptile Show, Whit asked (doing his best young Seinfeld voice), "Why would you vote for some guy named McNutly." Of course, it's McNulty with an L but driving by you can't really tell that. So we had a good laugh thinking that out there somewhere is a guy who's last name is looks like McNutly.

Must. Kill. Bun. Bun.

2009-08-31T06:19:00.000-07:00

with the help of our dog trainer friend, we have determined that one way to minimize (not completely stop) Indy's incessant barking during her walks, is to use her crazed passion for stuffed furry things.

Neighbors do double takes when they see her walking along with some brown, furry, lifeless remains hanging from her mouth, but do you know how hard it is to find purple rabbits? Affectionately, we call these stuffed toys her "comfort corpses".

She yikes them so much, and to see her trot along, so proud of the fake dead thing in her mouth, it almost makes me weepy.

Healthcare on Democracy Now

2009-08-23T20:21:00.001-07:00

This will take you to a page on Democracy Now's web site that is loaded with fantastic excerpts on the healthcare debate from the past few months.

I think one of the best is "Watchdog Group Sues for Disclosure of White House Meetings with Healthcare Execs" -- which relates to the Nader piece below.

Campaign promises of "more transparency" are, it seems, officially broken.

Healthcare Fix

2009-08-23T19:23:00.000-07:00

"Never much of a fighter against abusive corporate power, Barack Obama is making it increasingly clear that right from his start as President, he wanted health insurance reform that received the approval of the giant drug and health insurance industries.

Earlier this year he started inviting top bosses of these companies for intimate confabs in the White House. Business Week magazine, which proclaimed recently that “The Health Insurers Have Already Won” reported that the CEO of UnitedHealth, Stephen J. Hemsley, met with the President half a dozen times."

Where is some of that change I can believe. Say it isn't so O! Here is a small piece by Nader that lines up with much of what I have read elsewhere. "Last night, the so-called "gang of six" -- three Republican and three Democratic senators on the Senate Finance Committee -- met by conference call and, according to Senator Max Baucus, the committee's chair, reaffirmed their commitment "toward a bipartisan health-care reform bill" (read: less coverage and no public insurance option)."

R.I.P

2009-08-21T07:49:00.000-07:00

Let’s just say you have a favorite pair of something. Oh, I don’t know, like an old worn out pair of sandals. Let’s say in the opinion of others, like your wife, they have outlived their usefulness. Let’s say they disappear one day and upon interviewing your wife it is discovered that “Oh yeah, I threw those out.” I have known for some time now that she had her eyes on my obliterated, worn out, near useless sandals. But I never thought in a million years she would cross that sacred line and dispose of, covertly mind you, my stinky treasures. This crushing blow gives me paws. My mind wanders to ventilation units, and end of life scenarios when some might say I have outlived my usefulness. Oh, sandals, where are thou!

I Like it Hot & Dirty: Annual Mud Fight

2009-08-05T16:54:00.000-07:00

Here in the Heights, family get togethers are messy. Forget horseshoes. Forget cookouts. When we get together -- meaning me, my son Whit and my nephews from Kalamazoo -- we have a mud fight. They ganged up on me, and minutes into the fun I took a huge plop of it right in the eye and had to manage one-eyed for much of the time.

Hummingbird Moth

2009-07-28T15:37:00.000-07:00

I am digging up and under the back of our yard these days, which in the past has been covered with vines, bush, phlox and an odd assortment of everything. Today, while getting my ass kicked by lily roots, I noticed this little fella in the phlox. A Hummingbird moth. Click on the photos to embiggen the moth,

Review of David Ray's New & Selected

2009-06-20T10:21:00.000-07:00

Cool beans. My write up on David Ray's selected poems in up on Rattle now.

Blackberry Eating - Friday Finale (Late)

2009-06-20T05:19:00.000-07:00

I love to go out in late September
among the fat, overripe, icy, black blackberries
to eat blackberries for breakfast,
the stalks very prickly, a penalty
they earn for knowing the black art
of blackberry-making; and as I stand among them
lifting the stalks to my mouth, the ripest berries
fall almost unbidden to my tongue,
as words sometimes do, certain peculiar words
like strengths or squinched,
many-lettered, one-syllabled lumps,
which I squeeze, squinch open, and splurge well
in the silent, startled, icy, black language
of blackberry -- eating in late September.

10 Minute Spill

2009-06-18T16:43:00.000-07:00

Today marks the third day in a row I have been jogging after too too much time off. I am working through some ankle pain but am very encouraged.

I am reading Umberto Saba. Yum yum.

New (to me) songs that I am digging ...

This Love is Fucking Right, The Pains of Being Pure at Heart
Goodnight Moon, Shivaree

Am laying off the hops indefinitely.

Got my first nibble on eLance today.

Rain Rain Rain...

2009-06-17T19:42:00.001-07:00

means worms worms worms. Tonight I took Whit out to the curb and we hunkered along through the dirt and grass with the flashlight, snatching up nightcrawlers for fishing. I did most of the plucking. But Whit finally got the hang of it after having many snap back into the dirt and disappear. It was a beautiful thing.

Wow, Phantastic

2009-06-17T19:36:00.001-07:00

Hey I love Black and White as much as the next guy but this shit is almost scarier in flesh tone. Feast your eyes, gloat your soul on my acursed ugliness!

The Mower - Friday Finale

2009-06-12T14:42:00.001-07:00

The Mower

The mower stalled, twice; kneeling, I found
A hedgehog jammed up against the blades,
Killed. It had been in the long grass.

I had seen it before, and even fed it, once.
Now I had mauled its unobtrusive world
Unmendably. Burial was no help:

Next morning I got up and it did not.
The first day after a death, the new absence
Is always the same; we should be careful

Of each other, we should be kind
While there is still time

P Larkin

On Earth - Friday Finale

2009-06-05T04:29:00.001-07:00

I am hoping to get in the habit of closing out each week with a Friday poem.

ON EARTH

Resurrection of the little apple tree outside
my window, leaf-
light of late
in the April
called her eyes, forget
forget—
but how
How does one go
about dying?
Who on earth
is going to teach me—
The world
is filled with people
who have never died.

Franz Wright

Rainer Woodruff, June 4, 1998 - July 14, 1998

2009-06-04T04:41:00.002-07:00

Back in May, I posted about Amy Issacson Price, a librarian at our branch who recently committed suicide – three years after her young son died. I knew her well enough to feel her absence now, but not well enough to know she was in so much pain. We have this in common, losing a child. My infant son Rainer died back in 1998 from a rare mitochondrial disorder. Today is his birthday and he would be 11. So happy birthday Rainer Walker Woodruff.

Last year, as part of my ongoing grief work, I started volunteering at the Akron Children’s hospital, doing in-hospital visits in the neo natal ICU and regularly visiting the home of a young man with Duchene’s MD. I stuck with it for about a year and a half. Then, between losing my job and having this nagging feeling I just wasn’t where I belonged with my volunteer work, I decided to take a leave.

Amy’s death turned me around and now I am getting back into volunteering -- but in a different vein. Beginning very soon I should be doing follow up calls to bereaved parents as part of the hospital’s growing bereavement services program. It will do me good and maybe I can help someone along the way.

Thinking of you son. Thinking of you too Amy.

Lebron James

2009-06-02T04:39:00.000-07:00

Here's a little addendum to the post below about Lebron James redefining competitor.

I’m a winner, King James proclaimed. So, there you go. That’s his reason for rushing out of the conference finals without so much as a nod to Dwight Howard(notes) and the Orlando Magic. That’s his reason for marching to the bus and letting the Cleveland Cavaliers’ spare parts take care of his responsibilities in the interview room.

I'm a Winner

2009-06-01T11:04:00.000-07:00

"It’s hard for me to congratulate somebody after you just lose to them,” he said. “I’m a winner. It’s not being a poor sport or anything like that. If somebody beats you up, you’re not going to congratulate them. That doesn’t make sense to me. I’m a competitor. That’s what I do. It doesn’t make sense for me to go over and shake somebody’s hand."

Dandelion Whine

2009-05-20T05:11:00.000-07:00

It’s that time of year. Everything’s green. Birds are busy everywhere gathering dog fur for their nests. The dandelions have gone to seed. They look harmless, right? But I remember a day back in Madison, WI, when they weren’t so fluffy and cute. I had my son Whit at a local park and the grass was filled with them. He was probably about 4. I showed him how to blow the seeds into the air and when he grabbed a handful he somehow just shoved them into his eye and the seeds just stuck there—lots of them. Of course, the little hard ends with the seeds were very painful. He started screaming and clawing at his eye and I started my heart attack. I grabbed him up and tried brushing them out with my finger but he screamed more and fought me with his little flailing fists.

Running, I carried him back to the car hoping my wife Gwen had left (as she always does) a water bottle in the cup holder so I could flush his eye out. No such luck. So there, in the small cramped privacy of our car I cradled him in my arms, restraining his arms, and brought his face close to mine so I could suck the seeds out of his eye. It took a few minutes but finally he was ok.

On this day, I salute all father’s who’ve ever had to improvise and suck things out of their children’s eyes.

New Book Releases

2009-05-17T05:50:00.000-07:00

Jim Harrison, In Search of Small Gods

Jack Gilbert, The Dance Most of All

Because I Miss the Good Old Days

2009-05-06T13:57:00.001-07:00

still, f---ing scary

Heavy Day

2009-04-28T05:42:00.000-07:00

The day started off in a dark way yesterday.

While walking the pups, I noticed a bloated dead cat in the side yard of a house. Bloated like it had been there a day or two. Then I noticed the garbage cans were not curb side--odd for trash day. The car was in the driveway. Curtains closed up around the house. Walking the dogs I had often seen an elderly woman there, always by herself, doing yardwork. So in the name of being neighborly I freaked and called the police and asked them to check on the woman. No one answered the door when I knocked earlier. Have not heard anything more.

A few hours later, I got an email from my wife Erin saying that one of her students, an elderly woman, had died. She'd been struggling with brain tumors since her late 20's. Erin got the message right before class and had to break the news to her students. Hard class.

A few hours later, while I was at school picking up my son Whit, I was told by another parent that one of our neighborhood librarians had committed suicide. Her son had died 3 years ago, and she never recovered. I adored her and always looked forward to seeing her and joking with her when I went to the library.

I am in shock and deeply saddened. Her obit said she died of a broken heart. I am not sure why I am posting this. I think I just want you to know of her.

Qik Post

2009-04-27T05:50:00.001-07:00

Imagine yourself saying through your gritted aching teeth, "I'll be back in a bit, just gonna run down to Immediadent." Or, you stub your toe enough to crack the nail open and say, "I need to make a trip to UrgiCare." I think I despise "Urgi" most because it just sounds so damn stupid.

Here is my Andy Rooney moment for the day. What the hell is with all these blended word names? Immediadent is what you'd expect, a kind of urgent care for dentistry, right here in Akron. No doubt useful, but the name? Come on. This is advertising at its worst. I think it all began with video stores spelling Time, Tyme! Or oil lube shops spelling Quick, Qik.

Here are a few I made up.

Escort Service:

ImmediaSex

Lawn Care:

UrgiTrim

TrimTyme

Physicals:

Immediaprobe

The possibilities, sadly, are endless.

Babies: Shaken not Stirred

2009-04-23T05:16:00.000-07:00

Shake the baby "quiet". Wow, that would make a great iPhone game app. Well, maybe not so much.

"The Cupertino, Calif.-based company has rejected apps that let iPhone users throw virtual shoes at President George W. Bush or watch clips from the "South Park" cartoon. It has accepted numerous programs that simulate flatulence."

Priorities. Priorities.

Still Praying

2009-04-21T12:54:00.000-07:00

Still Praying

I pray for a breeze in sweltering summer,
A little less precipitation in winter.
May the flowers bloom red, purple, or whatever;
May love be spared derisive laughter,
May someone be available to prop up the fallen.
Let me have compassionate people around
So that when a man is really down
They at least won’t increase his pain
By turning a cold shoulder and arched eyebrows;
Each day of the year, like a cooling spring
Gushing forth non-stop, let us have some wisdom,
Instead of bans and rulings against this or that.
I ask to hear songs welling from the heart
Without someone laying down a formula
Of prearranged keys for every melody.
I pray
For the day when people will have no need
To pray the way I have had to do here.

Cai Qijao

Ars Poetica

2009-04-21T12:53:00.001-07:00

Ars Poetica

Rather than speaking words, I’d prefer to give my hand
to a child, immerse my heart in living foam,
and be quiet, with my forehead full of ocean
under a silent pinetree, pulsating upward.

Rather than speaking words, navigating in a plain
of crushed wheat, growing in waves, where immensity
extracts the juice of summer nights;
and instead of dreaming names letting the wind write them.

Rather than collecting songs harvested in infancy
I’d prefer my cheeks to be like a ravished nest,
and the taste of my lips to be moist with ignorance,

and with the very first delight of someone who has never kissed;
rather than speaking words, to be the words’ own fragrance,
and to be quiet, inside the poem, to be quiet …

By Leopoldo Panero

Reality Check for The Stupidly Weathly

2009-04-20T04:14:00.000-07:00

If this weren't so nauseating it'd be funny. Read on about the hard times the wealthy are having. "I'm not after sympathy. We are blessed. What I want is a reality check on what rich means," Ms. Parnell says. "I can pay my mortgage and I can buy some clothes. I'm not going without, but I'm not living a life of luxury." If she wants a reality check, I'd say start with the vacation home. What a dork. Preciousssssss.

Spring Beauties

2009-04-18T09:43:00.000-07:00

Spring has sprung white in our front yard. We get this beauty every Spring for about a week. Less if we get a late frost. Isn't it gorgeous. Speaking of gorgeous, Indy got into my wife Drey's hair stuff again. Loves to play dress up I guess.

Anonymous Keith

2009-04-09T06:12:00.000-07:00

after a long tour with Poor Fool, Anonymous Keith has been retired. To those of you who have told me on the side to make him go away, your wish has been granted.

Kenneth Patchen

2009-03-27T06:06:00.000-07:00

Going on forever now, I have been reading David Ray who reminds me in many many ways of Patchen.

Creation

Wherever the dead are there they are and
Nothing more.
But you and I can expect
To see angels in the meadowgrass that look
Like cows -
And wherever we are in paradise
in furnished room without bath and
six flights up
Is all God! We read
To one another, loving the sound of the s’s
Slipping up on the f’s and much is good
Enough to raise the hair on our heads, like Rilke and Wilfred Owen
Any person who loves another person,
Wherever in the world, is with us in this room –
Even though there are battlefields.

Robin Fulton

2009-03-12T06:04:00.000-07:00

Today, I am paging through a few books of poetry by Robin Fulton. To me, he has always been "the guy who translates Transtromer" (and a shelf full of other poets I admire,) but I recently came across this poem of his in an anthology and thought I should take a deeper look. Googling his own poetry is really tough if you don't have a title to search. He's so tied to Transtromer that's almost always what you get. But, here ya go:

Something like a sky

Something in us has suddenly cleared.
Something like a sky.
Something like a still-life, alive.
Behind us, our footsteps and voices.
Behind all the walls, a wide silence.
The air is white and open, ready for snow.

Robin Fulton

This is from his collection Fields of Focus and it reminds me quite a bit of the Transtromer poem 2 A.M. And why that last line, "the air is white and open, ready for snow", gives me such a lovely shiver I don't don't quite know.

Mohican Resort

2009-03-03T13:32:00.000-08:00

This weekend, we all went for an overnight stay at the Mohican Lodge. Here's the view, or a view, from out our room. With their awesome Stay for A's special, you get $10 off for every A on your kid's report card. Thanks to Whit we saved $50.

Here's an aerial view from the web site.

We were such good guests, the locals named a street after us.

Blistering Cold Freezes Blistering Heat

2009-03-03T13:29:00.000-08:00

Blistering cold they say. Sounds weird, like cold fire.

Whit Does Carlin

2009-02-17T17:34:00.001-08:00

Driving back from school with my son Whit, he says to me "How come we park in driveways and drive on parkways?" Not bad, eh? I told him it is odd they tell you to get on the plane in airports, instead of in the plane. (Props to GC for that one.)

"I'll have a glass of glass please"

2009-02-15T06:09:00.000-08:00

Last night I was out with my wife Mae for Valentine's Day and we stopped by a mexican food joint on our way to see Benjamin Button. It was at the mexican food joint that I had a margarita or a glass of glass. Not sure yet. But near the end of the drink I happened to find a glass chip the size of sunflower seed in my drink. At first I thought it must be ice but it had such a pointy shape. I sucked on it and it did not melt. It was glass. For our trouble they took both drinks off the bill. Whew. That's good. As long as there wasn't a chip or two I drank without knowing. We'll see.

From Krusty Krab to KFC

2009-02-10T10:25:00.001-08:00

Plankton suspected in KFC recipe scare.

Nuts on the Tree

2009-02-08T12:06:00.001-08:00

Wow, 38 to 40 today. Snow's melting. I decided to take Whitman (my son) into the Cuyahoga Falls Sand Run area and do some mountain/hill climbing. Always more fun in the snow.

Image this picture but with a lot more snow on the ground. So here is how it went. We climbed the first hill, then breathless and beat we sat and muched M&M's and surveyed the territories yonder below us. We even saw a few deer. Whit slid down the backside mostly on his rump and thought it was great fun. I walked down.

The second hill, extremely vertical near the top, was much harder to conquer. But we chugged up and made it finally. Coming down, Whit wanted me to go first a blaze the trail for him to slide down, which I did--on my ass. I slipped after two steps and in my slick snow pants zoomed right down the hill straight toward a sapling. Thinking fast I put my feet together to brace for the collison and oddly my legs split open when my feet hit and I racked my boys on the tree just like in the funniest videos show. That would be me, in the blue.

We had a great time.

Lux Interior

2009-02-05T11:06:00.001-08:00

Ugh! The lead singer of The Cramps died. What will all of us Goo Goo Mucks do?

Bad Music for Bad People is on my 80's Hall of Fame list.

At No Time Did My Hand Leave My Arm

2009-02-02T07:41:00.001-08:00

Abra Cadaver. Hocus focus. This is some fancy writing here. The man jumped and at no time did he leave his feet:

"It got just over Brown’s fingers, then got to Holmes’. He snared it out of the air by extending his hands and making a leap so small he wasn’t sure he ever left his feet. He had, and as he dragged the ball in he tapped both feet down in the red paint of the end zone before getting shoved out of bounds by safety Aaron Francisco."

Bad Art Animals

2009-01-27T13:50:00.001-08:00

Have you been to the Museum of Bad Art lately? There is something about that dog that reminds me of Joey from Friends.

Ah, Mug-O-Chum

2009-01-25T07:01:00.000-08:00

During these cold wintry days, I know a lot of you like to curl up, Rockwellian style, with a hot coccoa in front of the fire. Yummy. But, did you know that during these chilly days sharks also like to snuggle up with a bucket of warm chum? Why if you look close you can even see the marshmallows in the back. Good times, good times ...

Entrepreneurial Spirit

2009-01-23T05:59:00.001-08:00

The wheels are turning today. I am taking a class at the University of Akron called Idea Having and the sparks are starting to fly. Check it out.

I have a back hair concept. Had an indoor pool party for Whit's birthday recently and there was this man there with more back hair than Robin Williams. And I got to thinking about Back Hair Mullets -- like a back mowhawk -- and wondering if I couldn't start a craze and then create a line of grooming products to support said craze. Wheels are turning. Big time. Note the density around/along the spine? Nature's so wise.

These are my endeavors.

P.S.
Last night I watched Teeth, the movie about the girl with vagina dentata -- lots of blood. Chunks of wang on carpet. I am also endeavoring to purge the movie from my mind.

P.P.S. I still get dreamy, and a little breathless, wondering what it would have meant for Ann Wilson to go Crazy on Me. I am endeavoring to figure this out as well.

Birthday Goodies

2009-01-20T08:53:00.001-08:00

My birthday went pretty well, though I did have to work (had a little freelance disaster) all day into the night.

But I got breakfast in bed, a 'best dad' declaration from Whit--hand drawn, Stranger than Fiction DVD from my wife Ahleah, and Chicken Parmesan for dinner--made according to Cook's Illustrated (also from Ahleah). Yummy.

Here's to 46

2009-01-19T08:36:00.000-08:00

Today's my 46th birthday.

I Found Frost in My Bathroom

2009-01-16T06:39:00.001-08:00

this morning. Not this Frost, but the cold kind. A patch of frost on the wall by the window and I scratched a line through with my fingernail. It is that cold. -11 at the moment. On that note it seems appropriate to announce that I will turn 46 in a few days. Old. Cold. Blah.

Cold Advisory - Schools Closed FOR WINTER

2009-01-15T07:38:00.000-08:00

Whitman is home today because the schools all closed thanks to the weather. As I write this, he is in the room next to me singing "School's Out" in that loud, "I have my ear buds in and don't know how loud I am" way. No more teachers, no more books. Etc. Hearing what he listened to on his own, it became clear he had a metal head's orientation so I put Cooper and a few other older rock songs on a mix for him. Bad to the Bone. Some Hagar. Power by Rainbow. Last week I played him old ZZ Top, before they joked out with Sharp Dressed Stan. He likes La Grange best and says "play the one with the deep voice". Weird thing is, it all seems backwards. As a young kid, shouldn't he be the one into Emo instead of me? I long for the day as well, when we can sit and listen to The Smiths in our black t-shirts and talk about howzitgoing.

And then I woke up ...

2009-01-15T05:50:00.001-08:00

This is great news.

Apparently heavy coffee drinkers hallucinate more. Any minute now I will snap out of it, the veil will lift, and I will discover I didn't lose my job last March, didn't gain 20 pounds, didn't stop writing poetry. Maybe it has been a lonnnnnng hallucination and Bush was never president. Maybe I was never born?

Seriously, the new year is off to a great start for me. I added two new freelance clients to my roster last week. My head is spinning now trying to accommodate their projects and the steady trickle of work from my older clients. And in the category of professional growth, I started taking a night class at the University in the latest graphic design programs ... Illustrator, InDesign, Photoshop. The idea being that I am already doing the copywriting so if I can master the art and design side of advertising I will be a complete package. More marketable, etc.

As I write this, Otty is curled up against my stomach. Looks like 20 lbs. to me so I guess that much I wasn't hallucinating.

Good Riddance %%$#head

2009-01-12T18:11:00.000-08:00

How nice to listen to Bush fart on about his legacy these days.

His attempts to warm fuzzy his informal style.

His sad efforts to paint an alternative reality where he's only experienced a few "disappointments".

Wished he done this or that differently. To hear him try and speak, you'd think he's recapping his choice of golf clubs at the last eighteen holes. Bush is like an arsonist who claims innocence because he didn't make the match.

And now, the end is near;
And so I face the final curtain.
My friend, Ill say it clear,
Ill state my case, of which Im certain.

Ive lived a life thats full.
Ive traveled each and evry highway;
And more, much more than this,
I stayed the course and did it my way.

Regrets, Ive had a few;
But then again, too few to mention.
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption.

I planned each charted course;
Each careful step along the byway,
But more, much more than this,
I stayed the course and did it my way.

Yes, there were times, Im sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew.
But through it all, when there was doubt,
I ate it up and spit it out.
I faced it all and I stood tall;
And stayed the course and did it my way.

Ive loved, Ive laughed and cried.
Ive had my fill; my share of losing.
And now, as tears subside,
I find it all so amusing.

To think I did all that;
And may I say - not in a shy way,
No, oh no not me,
I stayed the course did it my way.

For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught.
To say the things he truly feels;
And not the words of one who kneels.
The record shows I took the blows -
And did it my way!

Snow Dogs

2009-01-11T07:52:00.000-08:00

Akron got its second big snow of the season - so far. The dogs were happy to bound through it and do doggish things. A little tug of war here, and little hang on for dear life there ... that is Indy showing that she has some badger in her.

Smile and say "Barefoot"!

2008-12-19T07:40:00.000-08:00

My wife Jenzie turned me on to this hilarious web site called Stuff White People Like. Now, in the throes of the holiday season I see and think about family portraits and ask (in my best Andy Rooney voice) What the hell is it with barefoot people in studio portraits? I think it's more stuff white people like.

There is a secret code going on here in the second photo. Notice how gramps (on the right) has on shoes, but grandma does not; and the dad's barefoot, and mom is in sandals. I think this is what it means to be half casual. Probably some insider photog secret re: flesh to fabric ratios.

Bagassora Convicted

2008-12-18T05:19:00.001-08:00

Last year, I read several books on the genocide in Rwanda. All very hard to read for the cruelty and disregard for human life they revealed. Not simply the Hutus killing Tutsis, but people like Madeline Albright (and others in the Clinton administration), and key figures in the French government and the UN. By all accounts, Bagasora was the Hutu leader most responsible for the butchery. He was finally convicted. Read Canadian General Romeo Dallaire's book for starters.

The Value of a Dollar

2008-12-08T06:30:00.000-08:00

Recently, I thought I wanted to create a new Blog, a kind of good will log. A place where you could share experiences of giving and receiving 'random acts of kindness'. I know it might feel self-serving to talk about the good you do, and the good others do to you, but I thought it'd be useful for the someone who might stop by and need a lift.

Because while Lady MacBeth's worries Macbeth is too full of the milk of human kindness, I worry I am not. I am an old dog learning a new trick, or trying to learn. Millions of people live by this creed of giving every day and to you I take off my hat. But in my life I have stumbled along, doing it here and there, but it is not a way of life for me. And that is the strange part because when I do it, it feels like bliss.

I have always liked a line from a song by The Smiths: it takes guts to be gentle and kind. Makes a lot of sense to me, as does this from my old friend WW:

An excerpt from the Old Cumberland Beggar:

" ... man is dear to man: the poorest poorLong for some moments in a weary lifeWhen they can know and feel that they have beenThemselves the fathers and the dealers outOf some small blessings, have been kind to suchAs needed kindness, for this single cause,That we have all of us one human heart."

The idea behind starting this new Blog started with a lift home, an act of kindness from a total stranger. I was at my mechanics recently, trying to mooch a ride back to my house after dropping off my car, but the drivers were all out plowing snow. A well-dressed man (who I had thought to myself looked corny) overhead the conversation and offered to give me a lift. We chatted about the neighborhood on the way to my house, and as I got out of the car I said, "Well, I am gonna half to figure out how to repay this kindness." "Yeah, keep it going you know, " he said. The next day, with more snow falling, I hauled out the new used snow thrower I bought from our neighbor. I did our drive and sidewalk. But then I started thinking, who else can I do? I ended up doing our whole sidewalk, the driveways of three friends in the neighborhood--one woman had let me pick pears off her tree all season long.

The Karmic wheel turned, and the next day while fueling up the van at a station down the street, some big husky fellow starts talking to me about the economy, how his dad was always saying he didn't know the value of a dollar. I told him I had been laid off in March, and that I knew the value of a dollar. Long story short, he pulled out his money clip and gave me a $20 bill.

So that's the value of a dollar, right? That you can give it away.

Holiday Nuts

2008-11-24T10:57:00.001-08:00

Tis the season alright. Otty saw an infomercial for Neuticals and now he's all about getting a pair for Christmas. I really can't afford them being out of work and all, but from the looks of them (sm, med, lg) maybe I can rig something with jellybeans and rubber bands. I know Otty deserves better and I am filled with financial Holiday shame that I cannot provide. Sigh.

Indy is still working on her wish list. But I know it starts off with 1. Less of a spaz for a roommate. (Poor Otty.)

Ch Ch Ch Ch Ch Changes

2008-11-21T04:15:00.000-08:00

Jeremy Scahill questions, and forecasts Obama's cabinet picks. He could be right.

"Obama does have a chance to change the mindset that got us into war. More significantly, he has a popular mandate to forcefully challenge the militaristic, hawkish tradition of modern U.S. foreign policy. But that work would begin by bringing on board people who would challenge this tradition, not those who have been complicit in creating it and are bound to continue advancing it."

Bonk

2008-11-19T10:16:00.000-08:00

Bonk is a book about "the curious coupling of science and sex". I just finished reading it and as a little tease wanted to give a taste of what you’d find should you read it.

Here are a few lines and passages that I moved me -- one way or another:

“Word spread. By 1916, the nut graft had gone mainstream.”

“The next step in the operation, Dr. Hsu has named the "inside out" maneuver. Though it is not so much “inside out” as “just out”. Using his gloved fingers, Dr. Hsu pulls the man’s penis up and out of the skin, through the three-inch slit, by its midshaft.”

“The vaginal photoplethysmograph probe that I will be—holding? containing? wearing?—is, for the moment hygienically sequestered in a Ziplock bag …”

“Dr. Hsu’s nurse is unwrapping the second implant, for the other erectile chamber. This one does not go gently. The insertion is done in two stages. One end is submerged down to the pubis bone"

“In addition to the smell of cologne, women were turned off by the scent of cherry and of charcoal barbecue meat. At the top of the women’s turn on list was, mysteriously, a mixture of cucumber and Good and Plenty candy. It was said to increase vaginal blood flow by 13%.”

“Masters points out that the heterosexuals were at a disadvantage as they do not benefit from what he called “gender empathy”. Doing unto your partner as you would do unto yourself only works well when you are gay.”

Bonk is by Mary Roach, who also wrote Stiff, the Secret Life of Cadavers. My wife Darby read that and said it was great. Not surprising, as the writing in Bonk is informative, funny, sly and be warned, cringe worthy at times.

Roach says: The study of sexual physiology—what happens, and why, and how to make it happen better—has been going on for centuries, behind the closed doors of laboratories, brothels, Alfred Kinsey's attic, and, more recently, MRI centers, pig farms, and sex-toy R&D labs. Bonk takes you inside all these places.

The Iraq War Ends!

2008-11-13T05:28:00.000-08:00

If you haven't heard or read the news, check out this "special" edition of the NY Times. It is chocked full of possibilities. I love it, the NY Times goes Onion. Even the ads are a poke in the eye. You can read more about the staging at www.commondreams.org.

Otty Meets Indy

2008-11-10T12:44:00.000-08:00

Not that Indy, this Indy. Indy is our new Border Terrier, from the same breeder in Indiapolis where we got Otty. She was a rescue. Indy is 7 and thinks Otty is mental. (We sometimes agree). The picture doesn't do her justice, but let me tell you she is a good 8 pounds maybe 10 overweight. Oink. We are hoping the transition goes smoothly and they become good friends soon. The magic eight ball says all signs point to Yes. This is after just two days.

FOX Eats Their Own

2008-11-06T08:30:00.000-08:00

The race is over and I should get back to business as usual, but I can't resist this bit on FOX about Sarah Palin.

And what the hell is wrong with that FOX dude's face? Botox orgy?

Oh wait, I can't resist this either from NY Times.

Smashing Pumpkins, Greatest Hits

2008-11-06T08:15:00.000-08:00

Whit Woodruff for President: "I Only Know What's Right"

2008-11-04T04:10:00.000-08:00

Here it is, election day. If you recall, my son Whit has been running hard in the last few days of the presidential race. I spoke with him this morning about the election, about his campaign promises, and he had this to say:

"I don't know how to raise people's taxes and spend it on junk America doesn't need.
I don't know how to ruin the planet.
I don't know to how form alliances nutty govenors from other countries."

We kicked it around and decided to play up the "I don't know" innocence card as we make our final push for office, so today our message is: I ONLY KNOW WHAT'S RIGHT.

Studs Terkel Dies

2008-11-03T06:48:00.001-08:00

This is a lift from Democracy Now's site. The legendary radio broadcaster, writer and oral historian Studs Terkel has died at the age of 96 in Chicago. Studs Terkel worked as an activist, a civil servant, a labor organizer, an ad writer, a television actor, and a radio DJ, among many other occupations. But since the 1960s, he was particularly well-known as a world-class interviewer, a writer and radio personality who drew celebrities and, far more often, average citizens into sharing their oral histories.

For 45 years, Studs Terkel spent an hour each weekday on his nationally syndicated radio show, conversing with famous and not-so-famous guests and with a loyal audience of Chicago listeners.

With his unique style of oral history on subjects such as race, war and employment, Terkel spent decades interviewing Americans across the country, creating intimate portraits of everyday life and chronicling changing times through this century.

Halloweenies

2008-11-03T05:40:00.000-08:00

I think it was around 1978 when I last put on a mask for Halloween. A million years later I am coming around. This year, I held down the fort and passed out the candy and deeply disturbed a number of the local youngins with this eagle face I got at the zoo. Twitching my head from side to side with bird like curiosity as they timidly mounted my steps probably did not help them feel like getting too close. I think it is really freaky, reminds me of one of the masks someone in The Shining (the book) would have worn at the ball.

My son went as Yu-Gi-Oh, the King of Games.

McFists of Fury

2008-10-30T18:29:00.000-07:00

McSexy sounds like quite the lady killer. Suave. Maybe a little punchy, though. Here is a lengthy piece from the good people at CounterPunch.org about McCain's Girl Trouble, which is nothing like Elvis's Girl Trouble. Here's an excerpt:

Also quoted by Churcher is Ted Sampley, a Special Forces veteran: “I’ve been following John McCain’s career for nearly 20 years. I know him personally. There’s something wrong with this guy. Let me tell you what it is – deceit. When he came home and saw that Carol was not the beauty he left behind, he started running around on her almost right away. Everybody around him knew it. Eventually he met Cindy and she was young and beautiful and very wealthy. At that point McCain just dumped Carole for something he thought was better. This is a guy who makes such a big deal about his character. He has no character. He is a fake. If there was any character in that first marriage, it all belonged to Carol.”

Take a close look at Cindy after you read the whole article. I think she really hates the wee Attack Troll.

White Supremacy Groups Pinic at Palin Rally

2008-10-30T13:35:00.001-07:00

Ok, pinic's a bit of a reach. They're just hanging around spreadin the love at a Palin rally in VA. Weird, why would hate mongers and White Supremist groups feel welcome enough to put up their tents.

Palintology - it's so In ...

2008-10-29T18:33:00.000-07:00

Incoherent. Incomprehensible. Inept. More garbled gook from the Vogue Rogue. Excerpts from a Wall Street Journal interview.

My Son for President

2008-10-28T19:56:00.001-07:00

Wow, the presidential race takes an unexpected turn. Guess this would make me the First Dad. Move over First Dude. My son Whit is on a roll. Click the Channel 3 image and check it out. Taking a break from Yu-Gi-Oh to take on Special Interest. That's the campaign theme I worked up for him.

Colin Powell Endorses Obama

2008-10-16T05:48:00.000-07:00

Reads more like rumor, but Huff Post has Colin Powell coming out with an Obama endorsement very soon. Well see.

Where's the Pesky Gotcha Media Hiding

2008-10-15T12:44:00.001-07:00

This would be funnier if it were so close to the truth. A Palin as Presidency. Just move your mouse around the picture and click on items for a mavericky good time.

The Honorable Fix is In: Republican Judges Over Turn Ruling

2008-10-15T05:51:00.000-07:00

My fool is hanged. So is yours. How disheartening this ruling is. My stomach aches. If history hadn't shown otherwise, I would like to believe that judges were above the fix. Clearly they are not, yet they keep "Honorable" before their names. Honorable like Brutus. Iago.

Let's look at how many of the Federal judges who overturned the ruling are Republican appointed:

"Sutton–G.W. Bush, Boggs–Reagan, Batchelder–G.H.W. Bush, Gilman–Clinton (the only Clinton appointee voting “for”), Gibbons–G.W.Bush, Cook–G.W. Bush, McKeague–G.W.Bush, Griffin–G.W.Bush, and Kethledge–G.W.Bush.

And the “dissent”? Moore–Clinton, Daughtrey–Clinton, Cole–Clinton, Clay–Clinton.

The Republicans have succeeded in their appointments of Judges who vote to suppress while only the Democratic appointees are voting on behalf of voters to insure the right to vote."

Read the complete article via the link above.

Deja vu, really. If you think it ain't true, just read here.

Please Pass this Story Along - Palin-Pals

2008-10-14T13:16:00.000-07:00

A great piece by Kennedy on Palin's true colors with respect to the Alaskan Independence Party (AIP) and the shocking depth of hypocrisy in her attacks on Obama's patriotism.

Excerpt:

"Palin's husband Todd remained an AIP party member from 1995 to 2002. Sarah can be described in McCarthy-era palaver as a "fellow traveler." While retaining her Republican registration, she attended the AIP's 1994 convention where the party called for a draft constitution to secede from the United States and create an independent nation of Alaska. The McCain Campaign has reluctantly acknowledged that she also attended AIP's 2000 Convention. She apparently found the experience so inspiring that she agreed to give a keynote address at the AIP's 2006 convention and she recorded a video greeting for this year's 2008 convention. In other words, this is not something that happened when she was eight!

So when Palin accuses Barack of "not seeing the same America as you and me," maybe she is referring to an America without Alaska. In any case, isn't it time the media start giving equal time to Palin's buddy list of anti-American bombers and other radical associates?"

Please pass this along ...

Don't Fear the Reaper, Fear Them

2008-10-14T01:55:00.000-07:00

Yes, don't fear the reaper. There are afterall, these inhabitants of Strongsville which are far more frightening. A recent rally for the Fluffy Bunny Palin and her running mate. Courtesy of Blue Ohioan. Here, though, is the mother lode. Same rally. Check out the video.

Coming Soon, Another Palin Report

2008-10-13T17:24:00.000-07:00

FICTION:

"Well, I'm very, very pleased to be cleared of any legal wrongdoing ... any hint of any kind of unethical activity there," the governor said from her car on the way to a campaign stop in Philadelphia.

FACT:
Stephen Blanchflower, the investigator hired by the legislative committee to conduct the investigation, said he found Mrs Palin in violation of a state ethics law that prohibits public officials from using their office for personal gain. He said she violated a statute of the Alaska Executive Branch Ethics Act.“Governor Palin knowingly permitted a situation to continue where impermissible pressure was placed on several subordinates in order to advance a personal agenda, to wit: To get Trooper Michael Wooten fired," he said.

EVEN MORE FACT:
" Well, what the report found, everything Sarah Palin had said in terms of her motives for firing trooper Mike Wooten, who had divorced her sister, was completely false, that she felt threatened by Trooper Wooten, for example, was completely contradicted by the fact that as soon as she came into office, she demanded that her security detail be significantly reduced. And so, just across the board, everything she had said about Trooper Wooten being a threat to her was contradicted by this report, and that Todd Palin, the self-described “first dude” of Alaska, spent 50 percent of his personal time, you know, in the governor’s office seeking ways to fire Trooper Wooten and to fire Public Safety Commissioner Walt Monegan, who happens to be sort of a local hero in Alaska.

So, the report itself is pretty devastating, and what Sarah Palin is saying is that she hasn’t—that the report finds that she hasn’t broken any laws. And technically, while that’s true, she also stands to be censured by the legislature and/or fined, which would completely erode her image as a reformer who’s above party politics and personal corruption, something that, you know, the McCain campaign had sought her out for.

Beyond that, there’s more trouble ahead for Sarah Palin. She had followed a terrible McCain campaign strategy—and this is a little bit complicated—by which she would file an ethics report against herself before the State Personnel Board. And the logic behind this was that because the governor controls the State Personnel Board, you know, reports directly to the governor, she could get a favorable report on her handling of the trooper controversy, and this would have a lot of public relations value and would sort of at least exonerate her before the public. But what wound up happening was the State Personnel Board appointed another tough prosecutor, someone named Timothy Petumenos, an Anchorage—an Anchorage lawyer, who also happens to be a Democrat. And they’re going to release their report in a few weeks, and I expect that this report could be equally, if not more, devastating for Governor Palin.

--Reporter Michael Blumenthal, on Democracy Now

Palin, Seccesionist at Large

2008-10-13T12:22:00.000-07:00

This is a must read for all you Palin fans.

I guess it is okay to pal around with Seccesionist groups, try and put them on city council chairs, take their help and support for your campaign, speak at their events, and then say people like Obama think America isn't any good. Well, in all fairness I guess that's what, guilt by association?

What was it Palin said: "[Obama] is not a man who sees America like you and I see America. We see America as a force of good in this world."

Or wait, did she say:

"This is someone who sees America as imperfect enough to pal around with terrorists who targeted their own country," Palin concluded, in the hardest shot of the statement.

These people truly hate America and Palin is far more friendly with them than the mainstream press will let you realize. Doubtful this is even on their radar. Check out the report at Salon. Or got to Democracy Now (above). The more I know about this Palin freak show, the more goddamn frightening it gets. I have to guess the red neck conservative brigade who eat up her bullshit and phoney image don't know dick about this part of her background, or they do and it's cool with them.

Steel Your Vote

2008-10-11T18:25:00.000-07:00

Uggh. Read this, see the Palast banner at the top of Poor Fool and click it.